Today is the day I'm starting. This won't be pretty, or witty but it will be raw and authentic. A while ago, the kids wanted to start a vlog or a youtube channel. And although we agreed that our family has a pretty interesting life, we wanted to live it instead of film it. However, Patrick would always joke that mid filming I'd yell some outrageous threat at the kids, and we'd have to cut and start over. He was right. Serving with Seven was his idea for a title, so this is our attempt. Due to the outpouring of love, support, and prayers going up on our behalf, I felt that a blog may be a more efficient way of updating all of the beautiful people who think of us.
I will try my best to update as often as I can, but it may or may not go in order. Please feel free to share this link and thanks in advance for praying.
Yesterday, we had check ups for Avielle and Benjamin. I woke up that morning feeling as “Struggly” as I did going to sleep the night before. I try to make it a point to get out of the house by 10:30am for my mental health . So I got up, got everyone out of the house and headed to the doctor. When we got in the car, we cued up “Keys for Kids” our devotional. We’ve done our very best to keep doing the things that we usually do including devotional, and nightly prayer, in spite of the fact that we are truly just….devastated. We put on the devotional, and it was about how it feels when someone pays your debt, or takes your punishment. Specifically, in the event of Jesus Christ taking on our sins. It was a good one. We pulled up to the doctor in record time. Usually when we would go to the doctor, we would all go in as a group no matter who was being seen. To pass the time and to prepare for possible vaccinations, we would sing worship songs. The staff had gotten used to it, and would sometimes stand and listen at the door and wait for us to finish before coming in. After everything happened, we just didn’t have it in us. As I pulled up to the doctor, I looked back at the kids and said “I need you all to come in with me, I feel like we need to sing.” Max specifically looked at me like “No, not gonna do that.” I then told them, “I don’t want to do it either, I just feel like we have to. We must be who we are called to be. We have to minister to the people in the doctor’s office.” This was the Holy Spirit, nothing in me wants to sing songs. They all sound very different without Patrick, to be very honest. (Another Blog for another day)
Once we got there, I had already determined that I was going to forgo any shots because my heart was already hurting, and I couldn’t take any more crying babies. Medical things have been extremely touchy with me/us as of late. After everyone got their vitals checked, I asked the kids to sing with me. Again, most of them were reluctant. The tears started to flow as I explained to them, that I didn’t want to do it, but I felt that we needed to. So Avielle chose to start singing “Your promise still stands, great is your faithfulness….” (Elevation Worship , Do it Again) I began to weep. I sang that song to Patrick in the hospital, and God did not “Move the Mountain” as I pleaded. All of the other kids joined in, Max being the loudest. I joined when I could, and then cried some more. I knew God was faithful, even though I was angry, shocked and sad. After we sang, I felt God’s comfort and peace. We got shots and labs drawn, with little tears. The doctor came in and she’s been seeing us for 7 years, so I feel very comfortable and safe with her. I let her know that it had been a rough morning, but that God was gracious.
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