The fall season has been hard and mean. So, I’m thankful for your continued prayers and support. It all started with our move from Brandon to Valrico in the beginning of August. Although it’s only about a 12-minute drive between the houses, we were leaving the last place where our family was whole. I must be fully honest, moving as a solo mom of seven kids and making all those decisions myself, even picking up the U-Haul alone -almost broke me. However, the move was necessary, and downsizing has been very helpful. Not waking up in the “house that I didn’t bring Patrick home to”, provided a little more breathing room in the suffocating grief. We are still close enough to all our extracurriculars, church, friends, family, therapists, etc.
In addition to adjusting to the new place, August was full of trigger days. Our 18th wedding anniversary, Elijah’s birthday being two of the hardest. We took a while to adjust to our new schedule was a wild ride initially. I feel like I spent much of my time in the car because we still have co-op homeschool classes, therapy, gymnastics/karate, church and outreach. Joy and Benjamin started school for the first time at an awesome little Lutheran school and even though there are some beautiful additions, the demands of their schedule threw off our usual easygoing pace of life. We also had an opportunity to do something new, and we visited a local “smash room” where the oldest kids were outfitted in safety gear and allowed to smash and break things in a designated room. The smaller kids and I got to crank up music and splatter and throw paint in the adjoining glow in the dark room. I don’t think that people understand how much pinned up anger and anguish we all have inside of us. So to be given this safe outlet was very necessary, after a long sorrowful summer without their Dad. Overall, we made it through the month with some joy amidst the pain and for that we are always grateful.
September was a whole ‘nother beast. My goodness! Our schedules were in full speed, we were still trying to get a rhythm. Thankfully we had a quick getaway for Elijah’s birthday, and I believe it gave us all a boost. Kendall had her first interview, where she was chosen to be an outreach volunteer for the Pregnancy Center in Plant City, as she is passionate about Pro-life causes. She had no idea, that this was my passion as well and I worked at a Pregnancy crises center in college all the way up until my pregnancy with her. The babies started gymnastics, and it was Amira’s very first extracurricular activity and after a few tears, she enjoyed her class. Separation anxiety has been huge this month for many of the kids.
And here we are in October. I feel offended that the year is almost over, and Patrick is not here. Thankfully, we started off the month with a bang with a visit from his little sister Krislyn, her husband (who we hooked her up with), and their two kids. Seeing my niece and nephew have cousin time with my kids was beautiful. However, just still unbelievable that their proud Uncle Pat wasn’t with us. We spent time on the beach, they came to our home, we took them to our favorite parks and out for ice cream. It was a true blessing to love on them and be loved.
Then we were blessed with tickets to see Elevation Worship in the VIP seats at the Amalie Arena, the four oldest kids went with close friends of ours and they had a blast. My sister and brother-in-law took the little ones to Chuck E. Cheese so I could have a couple hours to myself. On top of it all, we hit another milestone where Kendall went to her FIRST DANCE! The Homeschool Homecoming of 2023 was a great experience for her, and we had friends and family show up to see her off. She looked beautiful and handled herself like the beautiful young lady she’s growing into. She said she danced for hours.
The next major move this month was the starting of our Peer Grief Support Group, Hand in Hand. The kids helped me to create the structure, choose volunteers, pick curriculum and activities, and even went to tour the church with me. We had our first official meeting on Tuesday 10/10, which also marked the 22nd month since we lost Patrick. It was truly an honor to do something new and beautiful on that day. We built something new on this side of our loss, and that means so much for our grief journey. Our families and volunteers showed up early and eager to walk this road together.
The next big thing is a celebration we are having this Sunday 10/15 that will be a combination of celebrating four years in ministry and New Life Village’s “Fishers of Men” award, given in Patrick’s honor. I intentionally planned this on the 15th, because the 16th is Benji’s 5th birthday, and the 17th would have been Patrick’s 41st birthday. So, trying to do life-giving things that would honor God and Patrick is how we are getting through this. We are so grateful for your prayers and ask that you will keep them coming, they make a difference. I usually update our Instagram at least once a day, if you would follow us @servingwith7 that would be great. Our Peer Support Group is on Instagram as well @hand_in_hand_brandon
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